Powerfully the following song and music video portrays the struggle of Job to hold on to his faith in God in the midst of horrific loss and suffering. It speaks to me. In the story of Job, in his story as expressed in these lyrics and in the video, I see my own faith struggle with God when my infant grandson, Sully, suffered with leukemia, when I watched his little casket be carried to his grave, fifteen months old! These lyrics and video, the voice of Job, speaks to the struggle that unexpectedly still arises in my heart. I cry out with Job, “If this is where my story ends, just give me one more breath to say Hallelujah!”

“As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives. And at the last He will take His stand on the earth. Even after my skin is destroyed. Yet from my flesh I shall see God.” Job 19:25-26 (NASB)

If one more person takes my hand
                                                                                                And tries to say they understand
                                                                                                 Tells me there’s a bigger plan
That I’m not meant to see

If one more person dares suggest
That I held something unconfessed
Tries to make the dots connect
From righteousness to easy street

Well I, I won’t deny
That I’ve relied on some assumptions
A man’s honest life entitles him to something.

But who am I
To make demands
Of the God of Abraham?
And who are You that You would choose
To answer me with mercy new

How many more will wander past
To find me here among the ashes
Will You hold me? Will You stay?
So I can raise this broken praise to You?

Who else will see my suffering
As one more opportunity
To educate; to help me see
All my flawed theology

If one more well intentioned friend
Tries to tie up my loose ends
Hoping to, with rug and broom
Sweep awkward moments from the room

But I, I can’t forget
I have begged just like a madman
For my chance to die and never have to face the morning

But who am I
To make demands
Of the God of Abraham?
And who are You that You would choose
To answer me with mercy new

How many more will wander past
To find me sitting in this ash
Will You hold me? Will You stay?
So I can raise this broken praise to You?

But You were the One who filled my cup
And You were the One who let it spill
So blessed be Your Holy name if You never fill it up again
If this is where my story ends, just give me one more breath to say

Hallelujah

(from the CD “Music Inspired by The Story”, lyrics written by Nichole Nordeman; music composed by Bernie Herms)

Music video of this song, sung by Todd Smith from the group Selah: